I have been purging EVERYTHING in my office lately. Books I have read (books I haven’t read), articles and blog posts I have read (articles and blog posts I haven’t read), things I have written and posted or made public, and things I had written, that at one point I had plans to make public, but never did.
As I was sorting during one of my purging sessions, I found my calendar from 2013. I was about to toss it. Just before tossing it, a second thought had me paging through each month looking at my lessons learned. I came to August 2013 and I found this gem:
“Trying to get confirmation from external sources to approve me moving in a direction as opposed to a strong internal sense of direction. I don’t want anymore to get external confirmation for what I intuitively already know.”
YES! I remember this! And, after a pause and quick reflection, I realized: I have forgotten this!
Reading the lesson again with a newer mind, a more experienced heart, and a stronger internal connection brought me a huge reminder. A reminder to do my work.
If I don’t yet know which way to go on a decision, I need to tune in and listen to my own internal senses and intuition. Asking for others’ opinions will only put me on the path of looking for acceptance and seeking external approval for what I am doing.
It is hard to do my work. It is hard to know, in my gut, that I need to do (or not do) something specific and stand firm in that alone. Standing firm without the persuaded backing of others is hard. Because then they won’t understand.
At that point, when I recognize that I have made a decision or taken an action “so that they will understand”, I realize I have wavered from the lesson.
I do not need external confirmation. That simple TRUTH is an important one. One that came with not only the decluttering of my office, but the real WORK of decluttering my mind and heart. To keep only what is TRUE and LOVELY about who God created me to be. To recognize that doing my work tunes me in to the One who is always there to guide me to “what I intuitively know already.”
When I do my work I remember what really matters.
When I do my work I remember decisions I have already made that do not need to be decided on again.
When I do my work I can sift out what are the lies of what I am thinking to the truth in what I believe and know to be true.
When I do my work I am taking responsibility for my decisions and also not holding anyone else responsible for following through.
When I do my work there is clarity in place of chaos.
When I do my work I hear God’s voice in me.
Each time I slow down and every time I quiet the chatter and the voices both inside and out, I am able to connect back to Him. And each time, He is there to remind me of what is already inside me; a desire He gave me, a dream He planted, a next step He has for me, and most importantly; Truth.
When I get to that place, the need for them to understand fades away. The need for their opinion to strengthen my decision is no longer present. I am certain of my position, and I have taken responsibility to do my work on the inside first. When I have done the work, Peace comes like a flood and it washes away any residue of not enough, needing approval, or wanting to be agreed with.
The simple fact is; when there is chaos in my mind there is work to be done.
Yes,yes,yes! This year for the first time ever, I am co- leading Bible study using The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst and Christine Anderson. I was impressed by the title and ordered her book and then the study guide and Video. I have begun the process of finding that Breathing Room ( that space between my current pace and my limits). Our time is limited therefore we have to limit what we DO with it. I have started with my closets and using the measurement of will this make any difference if I did not have it and keeping what I Love. Leviticus 19: 9-10.
Sandy…I love this. Thank you for your comment. So many things can hold us back. Let it go and find that space that He so generously give for us to BREATH NEW LIFE!!!