I woke up heavy from the disconnection that had settled in my heart from the night before. A hurtful comment had pierced my heart. I sensed immediately that God was asking me to address it. I laid there for a bit, praying to get my heart right before I said any words about it to anyone. I called a friend and we prayed. I asked for forgiveness for the things I was thinking that were not going to bring any life to the situation, and I asked God to replace any hurt or anger with Love. Not just any love, but His Love, which covers a multitude of sins.
I went downstairs and asked my parents if I could speak with them. Yes, the same parents that are fighting for their “old” lives, each in different ways. The lives they considered healthy and free had now taken a turn and seemed to have been swooped out from under them in the blink of an eye. I was hesitant to have the conversation and almost shied away. I thought, this isn’t that important. I don’t need to bother them with this minor offense that hurt my heart. Cancer and a stroke are enough to deal with. The enemy almost had me fooled. I heard God’s peaceful whisper with His Love again and I began to speak. I spoke because my heart IS important. I spoke because their hearts ARE important. I spoke because the longer I let the disconnect take space, the more the enemy would sneak in to divide us. The more disconnected we would become. I spoke because I realize this is the real battle we are fighting. Every minute, I can choose life and connection, or I can chose death and disconnection. I pray to have the strength and faith to choose life and connection every time.
The conversation began and it was as if my heart could hear the Lord saying, “see, I wanted to bless you here. I wanted to bless your parents here, too. How will they know their hearts have been transforming if I do not allow them to see through trial.” As we talked, there was listening and understanding, where in the past there would be yelling and blame. There was question asking and patience, where in the past there would have been silent treatments and aggression. There was Peace in the place of pride, and there was an apology and acceptance in the place of excuses or denial. We really heard each other and loved each other well during that hard conversation. There was full forgiveness. The way only Love can allow. The disconnection was gone and more connection was there as I saw steps towards a new behavior. That is the transformation of a heart. A heart that is being redeemed is quicker to listen. It repents and then it replaces its old ways with a new way given by Love itself.
We hug and we connect and that heaviness is gone. A new lightness fills the house and fills our hearts. We have no idea what each day will bring, but we do know there are so many surprises along the way. The first surprise of Friday, July 3rd, was this new sense of understanding and connection that was not there before. It was prayers answered. As Love and connection remain the focus, our practicing this choice is made perfect in His time.
Stay tuned for the second surprise of Friday, July 3rd…it is the most beautiful thing and is the answer to YEARS of both spoken and unspoken prayers.
